Jesus says, "Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times."

What was Jesus talking about when he uttered this word "Forgiveness." In a book called Forgive and Forget, the author says we forgive in this way, "We hurt, we hate, we heal. We hurt; that is, we allow ourselves to feel the depth of an injury that has been dealt to us - we don't minimize it, or try to swwp it under the rug. We hate; that is, we blame the one who has hurt us - we don't condone or excuse the offense. Finally, when we are ready, we heal; we let go of the pain that is binding us to the past, and move on. That is how we human beings forgive."

However, I have learned, through my experience as a pastor and as a person, the biggest stumbling block to forgiveness is not always a lack of knowing how to forgive. Most of the time, it has to do with a lack of willingness to forgive. As a process, forgiveness is something that we can choose to engage in, or not. We have the freedom of choice. Just as God has given us the freedom to love him or reject him he too has given us the freedom to forgive or not.

So why should we forgive? If we don't forgive then what's the alternative? Vengeance or retaliation is an option. If someone hurts you, the most natural thing in the world is to want to get even. Give back as much pain as they gave you. That would be fair wouldn't it?

The problem with vengeance or retaliation is that it never really evens the score. Think, for a moment of someone that has really hurt you, or cheated you, and imagine that person now being hurt in the same way. Does that actually compensate you for the injuries you have suffered? Does it make up for the life you have missed, the pain you have endured? It may soothe your pain for a moment. It may help to make you feel better but does it actually compensate you for the injuries you have suffered?

Maybe you'd never seek revenge or vengeance but the real question is, "Can you forgive the people that have harmed you?" Consider this; what if forgiveness isn't primarily for the sake of the person who commits the injury? What if forgiveness is not really for the one who hurts us but for ourselves?

When you have been betrayed or hurt, doesn't the memory revive the old pain? Suppose you never forgive and you feel the pain each time your memory touches on the person who did you wrong. Who is being hurt now by your lack of forgiveness? Who is being controlled by the pain of the past so much that is impairing the ability to love and trust and to be at peace in the present? The person who hurt you? or yourself?

Jesus says, "Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times."

Forgiveness is something we must do, not for the sake of those who have hurt us, but for the sake of our own healing. Why does Jesus command us to forgive the people who hurt us, seventy times seven? Because forgiveness is something that is even better than fairness, even better than justice. It is the only way we are set free.